The Mother's Day Blues/ LIfe Blues

So today has been okay??? I just have an overwhelming since of sadness today and I dunno exactly why. I have an idea tho. Part of it is that I feel stuck in my live and Mother's day just reminds me of how much I cant give my child and child to be. I feel hopeless I can barely pretend to be okay anymore. I am on the verge of tears with pretty much any covo i have with anyone. Yeah i know that alot of it is pregnancy hormones but alot was there before I even found out i was prego. I just feel so misunderstood in my life right now.I cant even understand myself ugh. I miss living life. Don't get me wrong I love my little girl and my lil family.. but even that doesnt help my endless sense of hoplessness. I just wanna live again and feel like i am worth living and enjoying every moment of everything good and bad you know. even the meds i was on didnt help much i just felt numb and didnt care at that moment in time. I feel like I just keep spirling downward and it makes me feel so guilty cause i feel like i am not bein the mommy i should be. well i am gonna figure this out one way or another but i needed to vent.